that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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