just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
