NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
