My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
