so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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