Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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