I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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