i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
