If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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