you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
