it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
