Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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