The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
