Pants 0. Shit 1.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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