A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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