Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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