i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
