Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
