So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
