I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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