i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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