In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
