Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
