he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
