Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
