as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
