By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
