im holly from the hills drunk
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
