i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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