Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
