Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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