Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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