I need help removing her.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
