come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i've created a new STD.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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