allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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