i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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