Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
