Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
