Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
