my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
