My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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