dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
