Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
