You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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