It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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