Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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