i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
