nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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