Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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