why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
