I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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