sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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