i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
