wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
